C4, T12
by litlcapt
Summary: After all she had seen Rachel needed to know and make her peace. Post-Laryngitis


C4, T12

She had to know, something about the recent conversation with Finn's friend Sean had the wheels turning in her head. Rachel Berry walked down the hall with conviction towards the choir room just hoping the one she needed to see hadn't left. Just the act of each of her feet hitting the floor had opened her eyes. Why hadn't she seen it before, why had she put herself first above all else? Today she had seen another side of life that actually scared her, more than the unexpected case of tonsillitis that left her without her voice.

Stepping up to the familiar door she peered inside the window before turning the knob. She found no one in the room save for Tina who was packing her bag along with another. Tina looked up from the task when the door opened and offered Rachel a small smile before stuffing the last book in the bag. She went to ask about why the Asian girl was here this late but was interrupted by the familiar clanking from behind. Turning around she was suddenly face to face with Artie as he wheeled himself into the room.

"Rachel?" was all he could say.

"Artie" Rachel greeted pleased that her voice had returned to normal.

"I got the rest of them" Artie informed Tina who just nodded.

He had been asked by one of the jazz band members to assist with disconnecting one of the amps used in the recent number. Since he was the only one at the time with knowledge of the equipment he was volunteered. Now it was done he could finally leave, even if his father was still going to be at least thirty minutes. Looking up at Rachel he was confused as to why she was here, he was sure she had left with the others following the recent performance. Without another thought he wheeled past her to join Tina who reached out to take the cords from his lap.

"Ready to go?" she asked him.

"Yep just need my bag," he said smiling at the last word as she came around the side of his chair to hook the bag onto the handlebars.

Taking the handles she began to wheel him from the room when Rachel laid a hand on his arm. Looking down at him with so much insight in her expressive eyes he knew something wasn't right. He actually knew that the minute she walked through that door. Unknown to her he had watched her from a distance as she walked quickly and confidently down the hall. So different from how she had been acting over the past few days with her case of tonsillitis. Something was up and he was determined to find out.

"Artie would you mind if we talked?" Rachel asked pleasantly peaking his interest. It was very rare if not at all that she wanted to discuss something with him other than a proposition. Artie sighed and twisted in his chair as best he could to get Tina's attention.

"Go ahead, I'll text you when you get home" Artie suggested.

"Are you sure? I can wait…" Tina said throwing a curious glance to Rachel.

"Nah go ahead, talk later?" Artie said.

"Yep, love you" Tina said as she bent down to give Artie a peck on the cheek.

She smiled at him one more time before she made her way out of the room. She trusted him and oddly enough she trusted Rachel. There must have been something seriously on Rachel's mind to need to talk to Artie that urgently but Tina figured it was just another one of her plots. She had also been the one recently that cornered them about their participation in practice, something Artie very politely pointed out was something she needed not to worry about. She would text him later for all the details but right now Tina was just glad to be going home.

In the choir room Artie had backed up and wheeled himself towards the piano, Rachel watching his every move. While she had pointed out many times that the idea of him in a wheelchair hadn't affected her image of him she was also the one in the past to point out every flaw of his disability. One time in particular, the very first time they performed together, when she so eloquently pointed out that a boy in a wheelchair wasn't deserving of a solo in _Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat_. Artie in turn just shot her a sarcastically ironic comment and let it be. But now looking in her eyes something was indeed very different. Rachel held no conceit, anger, or even arrogance in her eyes only friendship and peace.

"How bad is it? I mean what level is it?" she asked out of the blue.

Okay so now he was confused. _Level of what,_ he asked himself. Then it hit him as he caught her staring down at his lifeless legs and he had a very good idea of what she meant. But why now and why all of the sudden? Her so-called disability of the loss of her voice paled in comparison to what he went through on a daily basis. But looking at her Rachel only looked curious if not insightful instead of her usual over powering self.

"I'm sorry that sounded a lot better in my head when I rehearsed it. You see I met Finn's friend today who has a level C4 injury and was just wondering….I watch you Artie but I never thought to understand," she confessed.

It was the last comment that threw Artie. She was the first to actually have a desire to understand his condition. Most just needed to know that he didn't have the use of his legs. All he could remember of Rachel actually discussing his condition was when she threw some off color comment about adaptation and not keeping up. Deep down he was her friend, had been for a while, but on the outside he had trouble showing it when her ignorance slipped through. Now he was thrown, his brain taking a full three sixty spin as he tried to wrap his mind around those words.

"T12/L1 complete, paraplegic" he answered quickly almost clinically as if rehearsed in his mind.

She just looked at him with shock a level of sadness coming to her eyes. How bad was Finn's friend to have changed her this quickly. Something had woken up in Rachel's heart as she had gazed at Sean before and that same feeling resurfaced as she stared at Artie. For the first time she understood how hard he worked just to keep up, how he had to face adversity everyday just to survive. Talking to Sean had ensured that thought in her mind and when she walked from his house all she could think of was Artie. Without her voice she was nothing but without his legs Artie _was_ something.

She stepped away walking towards an empty chair before sitting down with a sigh, her head down as she stared at her hands in her lap. Artie just reached for his wheels and rolled himself to sit in front of her. With a gloved hand he took hers in his causing Rachel to look up.

"You don't have to feel guilty, you know about the things you said" Artie told her truthfully almost seeing the regret in her features.

"You should blame me" it was another comment that surprised Artie, never had she taken the blame even for something that was her doing.

"No I shouldn't, I cope Rachel. Being involved with Glee has shown me I can do anything," he answered unexpectedly. Where had that come from?

"How?" she asked before clarifying. "How did it happen?"

"Car accident when I was eight with my mom" Artie answered just as he did to Tina before her.

She felt so selfish the last few days after meeting Sean. Selfish for feeling that her problem was above everyone else's as Artie sat there as she spoke. She never considered that maybe he would want to dance with the rest of them like she had wanted to perform that solo. But he was confined to his chair in the background keeping up with them with a stamina Rachel never knew anyone could ever possess. Finn had thrown a comment to her after leaving Sean's house the first time, something along the lines of 'paralyzed just like Artie' but she hadn't understood at the time. Now she did, for her eyes were open to a completely different world.

"I'm lucky though" she didn't know how he could say that but she listened as he continued on. "I mean I still have the use of my arms and upper body, I mean I'm not a quad or anything. And I'm not like Christopher Reed without the ability to breathe unassisted. I can basically do everything you can except for the walking part obviously" he finished the last comment with a smirk, as if making some internal joke to lighten the mood. "I'm much better off than Finn's friend I mean C4, there's not much you can do".

Maybe Rachel couldn't wrap her mind around how he was lucky, maybe she couldn't compare him with Sean but looking at Artie now she had an overwhelming urge to feel sorry for him. Pity was something Artie never did well though that much she learned over the months in Glee. Than her pity shifted to something entirely different pride. She felt suddenly proud to be able to sing next to such an able bodied person.

"I feel so stupid really," she admitted suddenly causing Artie to look up. "I mean I kept going around as if my life was over just because of a case of tonsillitis" _I'm like Tinkerbell, I need applause to survive _she recalled saying to Finn. Did Artie need the same, did he need the recognition he rarely received she wondered.

"You're not stupid Rachel. You're idea of not being able to sing with everyone or be given that lead, don't you think I feel the same when all of you dance in front of me. I'm different Rachel but I make the most of it that's why I play the guitar. It's why I choose to strive in whatever I sing. Its not about recognition Rachel its about being involved in something great" now he sounded like Mr. Schue Artie told himself but his point had hit home. Rachel just looked up at him with a peaceful smile and squeezed his hand.

"You're right" Rachel said.

"Besides I'm as good a dancer as you are at using a wheelchair" he joked remembering the number of times she had fallen out during practice of "Proud Mary".

"Hey!" Rachel playfully slapped his arm in defiance.

"Watch it I need that arm" Artie just returned feinting injury with a laugh.

Together they laughed, Artie leaning forward while Rachel did the same. The proximity of their bodies didn't matter just the friendship that rang in the air. Trying to catch her breath Rachel struggled but only laughed harder. She dared to look up into Artie's eyes as he pushed his glasses back up on his nose and straightened the frames. He offered her his signature smile and for the first time Rachel saw the kindness and genuine friendship in that toothy grin. Out of everyone in New Directions he had been the first to truly listen creating a special place in Rachel's heart. In Artie's point of view Rachel was the first person to want to understand, to know more without judgment. It surprised him but also gave him peace of mind; maybe now she could be more accepting and help the others understand.

"Thank you Artie, I needed that," Rachel said softly.

"Speaking of need I see you got your voice back no problem" Artie brought up.

"Yep, just a large helping of antibiotics, rest, herbs, and the silent treatment" Rachel explained.

Artie had to laugh at that since when was Rachel quiet. Catching his breath becoming serious once more he just stared at Rachel for a moment. He couldn't help but think that this conversation was giving him more happiness than he originally thought. Rachel on the other hand couldn't think of a reason as to why she hadn't ever confided with Artie. Looking at him she didn't see that "boy in the wheelchair", she saw a friend. Someone who, despite his own disability, accepted everyone for who they were.

"I do not believe that I have laughed that hard in a while," Rachel declared catching her breath.

"Yeah we've had an undue amount of stress lately with sectionals and now with Regional's fast approaching" Artie agreed.

"No kidding" Rachel chuckled a little still recalling their win at sectionals and those few glorious days that followed.

The silence returned but it was no longer awkward as smiles played across their lips. Rachel watched as Artie withdrew his hands to set them on his lap, his elbows resting on the armrests. She remembered taking Sean's hand in hers thinking innocently that he could feel her warmth but his answer had surprised her, nothing. As she recalled that moment another question came to mind one she hoped didn't ruin the moment the two were having. Artie must have known because he looked at her with those knowing eyes open to what she had to ask.

"Sean couldn't feel my hand in his" Rachel said suddenly.

"It's a weird feeling, the numbness" Artie replied honestly.

"Where does the feeling stop?" Rachel's question was awkward but if it did faze Artie he didn't show it. He only took a deep breath to prepare to answer his hands coming up from where they rested in his lap.

"Here" Artie said as he pointed a steady finger to the general location of just below his bellybutton.

He only told the truth, the feeling stopped below his bellybutton leaving him numb from the waist down. He still had some disconnected feeling that he regained after the accident around his bellybutton but his pelvis and legs felt as though they weren't a part of his body. Rachel leaned forward and touched his gloved hand staring at where he continued to point. Artie didn't pull away instead he gently placed his free hand over hers and held it there.

"You get used to it but it is still awkward hitting something and not feeling it" Artie admitted.

She couldn't imagine but there was something in his voice, the same as Sean, acceptance. The same acceptance couldn't be said for her in her recent illness, it was only selfishness. But she was a changed person; Rachel would make sure she would take Sean and Artie's words to heart. Looking into those honest eyes she had never seen clearer until today. They held that silence for a while both mulling over their thoughts. A chirp, however, broke the silence. Breaking his contact Artie reached into his pocket pulling his cellphone out.

_I'm outside._

"It's my dad, he's waiting for me" Artie announced setting the phone on his lap.

"Oh I'm sorry for keeping you so long" Rachel apologized.

"No prob, it was nice talking to you" he replied.

Taking a deep breath Rachel stood while Artie backed up. Walking back to the piano she retrieved her bag that she left before. She watched with a smile as Artie turned in his chair unhooking his backpack and setting it in his lap. Putting his phone away and looping it back on the handlebars he was ready to go. As he began wheeling himself from the room he swung his chair to face Rachel as she spoke.

"Thanks Artie, for helping me see and this talk" Rachel stated honestly.

"You're welcome and Rachel remember next you lose something you can always keep going. Just have to find your niche" Artie shot back.

"Yes I guess your right, there's always dancing" Rachel laughed.

"Yep" Artie smiled.

"Have a good night Artie, see you tomorrow" Rachel said.

"By the way you're not as annoying as they say you are, you're a good friend Rachel. Thanks for seeing the other side, for understanding" Artie's comment nearly threw her off guard. The comment brought a tear to her eye, so touching and honest. She never thought of herself that way until now. Why had it taken her that long to see? There were other things in life. Looking at Artie warmth spread in her heart, maybe if she took the time people would understand _her._

Rachel watched Artie wheel himself out of the room leaving her in silence. That same warmth still embraced her as she thought about the conversation. It took all this time for her to finally see him, not even her stint in the wheelchair had shown her. She was prepared to walk from this room with a new outlook of life, a new outlook of people. Sean and Artie had taught her the greatest lesson of all, don't take for granted what you have and never complain at what you lose. Taking a deep breath, a proud smile on her face, Rachel prepared to go home to get ready for tomorrow.

As Rachel walked from the room she swore that the next time she got any thought in her head of being the only one she would think of Sean and Artie. Next time she would give someone else the chance to shine. For she strived to be the new and improved Rachel Berry who saw everyone for who they were not what she wanted them to be. Next time she had a diva moment in Glee she would look to Artie, for she learned that he was the hardest worker out of all of them. He was Artie Abrams, self-proclaimed nerd and the most able bodied person she knew in a wheelchair. New Directions was lucky to have something unique on their side: Artie Abrams.

Disclaimer: Glee is the property of Fox and its producers and directors


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